


LIOFTB (Love is only for the brave)

by skitzOfrienic



Category: Mewgulf, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV)
Genre: M/M, MewGulf - Freeform, TTSS, TharnType
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26267824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skitzOfrienic/pseuds/skitzOfrienic
Summary: What will happen to Mew and Gulf after TTSS2?
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	LIOFTB (Love is only for the brave)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! This is a work-in-progress and my first ever attempt to write a fanfic (do not laugh at me, hinde, okay lang pala :)). I thought of writing this because of some posts I read about what will happen to MewGulf after TTSS2. It is not my intention to disrespect MewGulf and other people who may or may not be related to Mew and Gulf in the past. This is fiction and I apologize for any grammatical errors and any other mistake. 
> 
> I do not own the images, they are just references. CTTO.
> 
> The title is from a song of Louis Tomlinson.

2am, Saturday, Jkt

Gulf checked the time on the bedside table at the Hotel Mulia where he was staying along with the cast. He just finished attending the largest ever fan gathering of the TTSS2 cast in Indonesia which ended too late.

Jakarta was their last leg of promotion for the series. Although it ended airing in Thailand two months ago, the Asian release has been on a staggered basis and now, they were finally done.

He finished packing, his luggage now full and went straight to bed. He needed to sleep, even for just a few hours before catching a plane to Bali. He was flying there alone while the rest of the cast and crew were returning to Bangkok at noon.

He could not sleep. He was just lying there, eyes closed, deep in his thoughts, when all of a sudden, he burst into tears. The lump on his throat was getting bigger making it hard for him to swallow. The brick on his chest had become so heavy that he was finding it too difficult to breathe, tears falling profusely. He felt hopeless, helpless and too afraid of what lies ahead. He grabbed a pillow, pulled it close to his chest and buried his face into it, trying to muffle the sound of his cries.

_“I will miss you Mew. I will miss you so much.”_

There were too many questions on his mind right now, so many uncertainties. Those were not about his future in the industry. He was not worried about that. He was worried about his future, a future without Mew. What will become of him without his Phi?

Will I ever see him again?

Will I be working with him again?

How can I do it without him by my side?

Will he be available for me if I am confused about something?

Will he miss me?

What if he falls in love with whoever his partner will be in his next project?

These were just some of the questions bugging him. He cried until he could not anymore.

———

7am

Gulf was able to sleep maybe for an hour or two. He quickly showered as soon as he heard the alarm. He went straight to the lobby and was greeted by a hotel staff, “Good morning Mr. Kanawut! Mr. Best had arranged a hotel car to drop you to the airport. Please follow me.”

The car was already waiting in front of the lobby. He was about to enter it when he heard someone calling his name. It was Mew. He was going for his daily run with Champ at the GBK Stadium.

Mew was surprised to see Gulf early in the morning. Gulf hates mornings. He should be asleep maybe at least until 10am before they head to the airport. And why was he carrying his luggage? Was he leaving already?

“Gulf! Where are you going? Are you not returning to Bangkok with us?”, asked Champ.

Mew noticed something different in Gulf’s face. His eyes were swollen.

“No, I’m going to the airport now.” Gulf said avoiding Mew’s gaze.

“Is anything wrong Nong?” asked Mew.

“No Phi, I have a few days off and wanted to visit my Uncle in Bali. I haven’t seen him for a long time.” answered Gulf.

“Ohhh, when will you be back?”, asked Mew.

“I don’t know yet.” Gulf answered.

“Okay, let me know when you’re back. Have a safe flight and enjoy your break Nong.”

“Thanks Phi. I’ll see you soon.”

“Have a safe flight Gulf.” Champ waved at him.

Mew was waiting for Gulf to at least hug him before he goes which was what Gulf usually does but he got into the car hurriedly. Mew was puzzled and just looked at the car driving away.

In the car Gulf was holding back his tears, but they fell anyway.

———

9am

Mew joined the rest of the cast during breakfast. He was not his usual jolly self.

“Good morning P’Mew!”, the group shouted in unison when they saw him. As if somebody was orchestrating the group to greet him like that. Of course, it was too obvious for Mew. In his head, he thought, everybody knows Gulf is not here anymore.

When they boarded the plane for Bangkok, Mew was seated in the first row isle seat, the one next to him, the window seat was vacant. It was supposed to be for Gulf. They usually sit next to each other not only on planes but actually, anywhere and everywhere when they were together. It felt so strange with nobody there sitting beside him. Nobody dozing off on his shoulder, nobody telling him random stories, nobody laughing with him while recalling certain events/shoots where they made mistakes, nobody goofing about silly stuff and nobody to keep him warm when the temperature gets too cold. He misses Gulf. It was not even a day since he was holding his hand and being sweet and lovey-dovey throughout the event last night.

He was quiet during the three and a half hour flight. Everybody noticed so nobody bothered him.

———

12nn, Bali (+1hr fr Jkt)

Gulf’s flight to Bali was quick, a mere one and a half hours. He immediately saw his Uncle Punn along with his cousin Pond at the Ngurah Rai airport.

“Perhatian, perhatian, tolong kasih jalan untuk sepupu saya Gulf Kanawut, sala satu bintang sinetron dan selebritis dari Thailand!”, announced loudly by Pond in his invisible mic.

(Attention, attention please make way for my cousin Gulf Kanawut, a TV star and a celebrity from Thailand!)

Gulf hugged his cousin but smacked his head first, “You never changed, still obnoxious and loud!”

“Welcome back to Bali Gulf.” said his Uncle.

“How is my favourite Uncle?” Gulf greeted his Uncle with a “wai”. It was true, Uncle Punn was his favourite Uncle because he was his only Uncle! He was the older brother of his Dad. If there was anybody other guy in their family Gulf was especially close with, it was his Uncle Punn. His Uncle has always been there for him and his family especially during one of their most difficult times.

“If you didn’t do a promotion here, you wouldn’t have visited us. How long has it been since we saw each other? How are your parents? Your sister? How’s Bangkok nowadays?” his Uncle kept on asking without giving Gulf a chance to answer.

“Dad! We have not come out of the airport yet and you are already bombarding Gulf with questions! Stop it na. Let him breathe. Remember he came here to rest. He must be so tired being a superstar!” said Pond.

“O iya, ya, let’s go to the car and hurry home! Your Aunt prepared your favourite food.” his Uncle Punn said.

It was a long ride from the airport to Ubud where his Uncle’s resort was located. His Uncle settled in Bali 20 years ago when he met a beautiful Balinese. He was visiting the island to attend a conference. He was mesmerised by one of the Balinese dancers entertaining their group during a performance. He decided to pursue the girl, got married, then lived there ever since. He bought a piece of land in Ubud, built a small boutique hotel which became one of the best places to stay in Bali.

Gulf has been there before but he had forgotten how beautiful the place was, it was years ago when his family visited. It was often his Uncle’s family who visited them in Thailand during holidays and special occasions. Like any other places in Bali, his Uncle’s resort was surrounded by huge trees. Upon entering the place, there was an old feel to it and everything was about Bali, the structure, decorations, the flowers, the staff's uniforms and the air smelled uniquely Bali.

The main building of the hotel was just for receiving guests, it was where the restaurants, gym and other amenities were located. The guests stay in individual villas which were far apart from each other, with trees and a brook surrounding the entire property.

Gulf’s Aunt welcomed them to their house which was located behind the main building. After exchanging pleasantries, a sumptuous lunch, post lunch snacks and long chitchats, Gulf was just too exhausted.

———-

4pm, Bali

It must have been after 4pm already when Pond took Gulf to one of the villas.

“I am beginning to think that my Dad loves you more than he loves his own son. He never allowed me to stay here. I begged him several times to let this be my place. This is ideal for me since this is the remotest from the main house. I can watch porn all day without disturbing anybody and if I bring a girl here, nobody will know even if she screams from sheer pleasure!” said Mild.

“Probably that’s the reason why Uncle Punn didn’t want to give this to you! You will just turn this villa into your hell hole!” Gulf said.

The villa was huge, with its own terrace, a hammock, a sitting area and a super extra king- sized bed.

“Wow! This is really beautiful and so quiet!” Gulf said.

“You rest now. If you want to have dinner it’s at 7pm in the resto. But if you want it brought here just call ya and let me know if you need anything. Bye Phi! Rest well!”

Gulf took his phone from his pocket and sent his mom a quick message telling her that he was already with his Uncle. He also saw a notification from Mew’s IG account about a picture of him with the TTSS2 cast posted just a few minutes ago in the airport with a caption, “just landed” but with a sad eyes emoji. He read several comments:

“Aren’t you glad to be back Phi?”

“Where’s your Nong?”

“Hey! Congratulations on the success of your Asian promo tour!”

He put down the phone, unpacked his stuff then took a shower.

Gulf looked around admiring the place. If there’s such a place as heaven, maybe this is it. He went out of the villa, snapped a picture of the place and decided to post it on his IG. He did not put any caption.

<img src=">

Immediately, all the comments and likes came in.

“Where are you Gulfie?”

“Is it already honeymoon? We didn’t hear about you and Mew getting married!”

“Mew is in BKK. Where are you Kana? Who are you with?”

“Babie, where are you? Are you still in Jakarta?”

Then he read one comment, 1 minute after he posted the picture. It was from Mew.

“MUSM” along with a sad emoji.

He did not reply and immediately turned off his phone.

_Aren’t you tired of this game Mew?_

He took a deep breath. Tears started to well up in his eyes again. He did not understand what he was feeling.

Why does this hurt so much?

He climbed into the hammock, gazed at the sky with tears flowing heavily from his eyes and whispered,

“I love you Phi. I love you Mew.”

———

5pm, BKK

Mew went straight to his parent’s house from the airport. His parents and P’Thorn were in the living room when he arrived and welcomed Mew home.

“Hi son! How was your trip?” asked his Dad.

“It was okay Dad. I am dead tired. Sorry Mom, Dad, Phi, I will go to my room and rest. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.” said Mew.

P’Thorn shook his head and said, “Hmmmm... this brother.”

“Thorn, please find out what’s happening.”, said Mom

“We all know what it’s about when he’s like that Mom!”

“Just find out and please help him whatever it is ya Thorn.”

“Older brother to the rescue.”

———

6pm, BKK

Mew sat on his bed while checking his phone for messages. There were a lot but none from Gulf. He did not even reply to his comment on his IG post.

He tried to call him via LINE but no answer. He sent a sticker message but it hasn’t been read/replied to even after several minutes.

Instead, he texted Mild.

Mew: Can we meet?

Mild: When?

Mew: Now if possible.

Mild: Mew, I’m already home. Is it urgent? Can I just call you?

Mew did not reply. After several minutes Mild was getting a little worried so he decided to call Mew.

Mild: Hello! Hello Mew!

Mew: Mild!

Mild: Are you crying Mew?

Mew: It hurts Mild.

Mild: I’m going to your house now ya. Wait for me, just stay put.

———

7pm, BKK

Mild arrived at Mew’s house. Thorn let him in and he went straight to Mew’s room.

Thorn: Mild please be the one to help him on whatever his problem is. I’m going to bed. 

Mild: Yes P’Thorn. I’ll try. Goodnight.

Mild knocked on Mew’s door before opening it. Mew was sobbing, both hands on his face, his hair a mess, his shirt wet.

Mild: Tell me. I know something was up. You were quiet on the plane and quite irritable.

Mew: I love Gulf. (tears running down his face)

Mild: Of course you do.

Mew: No, I mean I love, love Gulf. I want to be with him.

Mild: Of course you do.

Mew: No, you don’t understand.

Mild: What is there not to understand? I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve known you longer than Gulf. I know when you’re in love. So, why are you crying? Why are you telling me this?

Mew: Didn’t you hear me? I said, I love Gulf.

Mild: I heard you the first time. I don’t understand why you are telling me this. I am not Gulf.

Mew: I can’t tell him.

Mild: You’ve been saying those things to each other. I don’t think he’ll be surprised.

Mew: You don’t understand. I love him. I want to be with him. I want to marry him someday. Have kids with him. Grow old with him.

Mild: Aow. (with one of his eyebrows raised)

Mew: We always say I love you to each other as brothers, brothers who love each other. 8 out of 10. That’s different from what I am feeling for him.

Mild: So what’s the problem? Why can’t you tell him?

Mew: I’m afraid. He asked me from the start to protect him and I agreed. I’m afraid I will be the one to destroy him. I don’t want him to experience what happened to me as I always say during interviews. I want him to be successful. I want to make sure that he works with only the best and good people in this business. I want him to have fun and not get bored in the industry. I want him to learn and grow. I want him to come to me when he has problems or consult me on anything.

I don’t want to be a distraction. I don’t want to mess whatever he has accomplished so far. I don’t want him to think that I am using him, taking advantage of him.

Mild: You are afraid of too many ghosts. You have not even told him and here you are already predicting the future. Mew, can I tell you something, don’t get mad? Gulf is Gulf and you are you. Gulf and you are not like your ex lovers. Do you think he does not know what happened in your past relationships? Gulf maybe a little introverted and he is only close to you among the cast, but I don’t think he is the kind who will judge a person right away based on what he heard. There’s no other way but for you to tell him how you feel unless it’s okay for you to just mope and tell yourself “I love Gulf” all day. Don’t expect me to be here every day for you though. I have work and so do you.

Mew: What if he does not love me?

Mild: What if he does?

Mew: What if he does? (Mew cried some more, now in full blown sobs)

God!!! If he does, I will be the happiest person on earth! I will be the best boyfriend or husband he could ever have. I will take care of him for the rest of my life. I will make sure he’s happy with me and I’m the only reason for his happiness. He will never ever have regrets.

Mild: You better write that down, that would be a good wedding vow. By the way, how long have you known?

Mew: Known about what?

Mild: Your feelings for him?

Mew: I’ve realized it a long time ago.

Mild: Like when? Season 1? Season 2?

Mew: Huh? Longer…

Mild: Whattttttt?

Mew: Workshop… actually the second day of workshop, after he kissed me. When I went home, I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t get him off my mind. I was always excited. Sometimes I couldn’t even control myself, those hugs, those kisses, those possessiveness, those were real.

Mild: Wow, it has been what, 2 years and you kept this all inside you?

Mew: I was afraid, afraid to get hurt again, afraid to be rejected and betrayed. I don’t know how I will be able to get on my feet if it happens again.

Mild: If you have hidden your feelings for the past two years without him knowing, how come it’s only affecting you now?

Mew: Because we are already finished with the project. There’s no certainty if I will ever work or see him again. I was enough with seeing him while we work, being Tharn on and off screen. The realization that we will see each other less or maybe not see him at all hurts. Even now, I already miss him and I was just with him last night. It pains me not knowing when I will be with him again.

Mild: You just got to tell him.

Mew: I guess I have to. But what if he rejects me?

Mild: I may sound mean and heartless but let me tell you that “you’ll get over it!”. You’ve been in the worst situation but you survived. This should be a walk in the park for you. (Mew hugged Mild)

Mew: Thank you Mild. Thank you for listening to me and helping me figure out what to do. Thank you my friend. Please don’t tell anybody about this. Let me sort out how I’m going to tell Gulf.

Mild: Of course my friend.

———

10pm, Bali

Gulf has been on the hammock for several hours now. He turned his phone on and saw the Line message from Mew. He did not reply.

_Why are you making it difficult for me Mew. Just stop it please._

Tears were beginning to flow again from Gulf’s eyes. His heart aches for Mew. He misses him. He misses him so much. He misses his touch, his hugs, his kisses. He just wants his Mew.

All of a sudden, his phone buzzed, it was Mild.

Mild: Hello! Hello Gulf!

Gulf: Mild! (sniffing)

Mild: Are you crying Gulf?

Gulf: It hurts Mild.

Mild: What happened? Where are you?

Gulf: I’m in Bali, in my Uncle’s resort.

Mild: What hurts? Is it like your “body-hurt” or your “heart-hurt”? Tell me.

Gulf: It hurts.

Mild: What hurts? Tell me.

Gulf: I love Mew. (now crying hard)

Mild: Of course you do. ( _Oh gawd, here we go again_ )

Gulf: No, I mean I love, love Mew. I want to be with him.

Mild: Of course you do.

Gulf: No, you don’t understand.

Mild: What is there not to understand? Of course you love him, so why are you crying? Why are you telling me this?

Gulf: Didn’t you hear me? I said, I love Mew.

Mild: I heard you the first time. I don’t understand why you are telling me this. I am not Mew.

Gulf: I can’t tell him.

Mild: ( _Alaiwa! Didn’t I just have this exact conversation!?!_ ). You’ve been saying those things to each other. I don’t think he’ll be surprised.

Gulf: You don’t understand. I love him. I want to be with him. I want to marry him someday. Have kids with him. Grow old with him.

Mild: Aow!

Gulf: We always say I love you to each other as brothers but that’s different from what I am feeling for him.

Mild: So what’s the problem? Why can’t you tell him?

Gulf: I don’t know. I’m afraid.

Mild: Afraid of what?

Gulf: That he doesn’t feel the same. That he will think I am just using him, taking advantage of him, that I will hurt him like his ex-es.

Mild: You are afraid of too many ghosts. You have not even told him and here you are already predicting the future. Gulf can I tell you something, don’t get mad. You are not like Mew’s ex lovers. Believe me, they’re terrible people. There’s no other way but for you to tell him how you feel unless it’s okay for you to just mope and tell yourself “I love Mew” all day. Don’t expect me to be on the phone everyday for you though. I have work and so do you.

Gulf: What if he does not love me?

Mild: What if he does?

Gulf: What if he does? (Gulf cried some more, now in full blown sobs)

God!!! If he does, I will be the happiest person on earth! I will be the best boyfriend or husband he could ever have. I will take care of him for the rest of my life. I will make sure he’s happy with me and I’m the only reason for his happiness. He will never ever have regrets for the rest of his life.

Mild: You better write that down, that would be a good wedding vow,

Gulf: Thank you Mild for being a friend. Please don’t tell anybody about this. Let me sort out how I’m going to tell Mew.

Mild: Of course my friend. Btw, when are you back in BKK?

Gulf: I don’t know yet. I don’t have anything lined up until next week. I’ll let you know when.

Mild: Okay. I’ll see you soon.

Gulf: Thank you my friend. Goodnight.

Mild: Goodnight. (Sarap pag untugin ng dalawang ‘to. Hayyyysssstttttt.)

Gulf opened his IG account and replied to Mew’s comment with a smiley kiss face. It was 11:59.

———

1030am, Monday, Bali

Gulf woke up late. He saw a message from his Uncle Punn inviting him to have lunch. He wanted to talk to him.

“What’s wrong? Don’t think that I didn’t notice. You suddenly decided to come here and spend a week here by yourself. You stayed so late last night and you come have lunch with me with your eyes swollen. You know you can talk to me right?”

Gulf just looked at his Uncle, not saying a word.

“Is this about your Khun Phi?”

Gulf just looked at his Uncle, his eyes beginning to water, still not saying a word. It was as if his Uncle knew.

“Did you talk to him about it?”

Without looking at his Uncle, Gulf just shook his head.

“Well, you wouldn’t know how he feels if you don’t tell him right?”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same about me?”

“Then you’ll just have to accept it, wish him happiness and move on.”

Gulf looked at his Uncle. He couldn’t imagine what will happen to him if Mew rejected his feelings.

_I will die._

“If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least, you have told him. Maybe you will be better off as friends.”

_Friends? Hah? Well at least, if he accepts me as a friend, it is still better than not having him in my life at all._

“You know when you love someone, you have to be brave not only for yourself but for the one you love as well. You have to be brave to tell him how you feel and brave enough to accept whatever the outcome will be. You have to be brave to let him go and wish only the best for him even if you will not be a part of that happiness. You will be devastated, sure, but it should not be the end of the world for you. You are a talented actor and a good son, with a bright future ahead of you. Don’t waste your life because you got your heart broken. Remember, you have your parents, your sister, us here and your fans. Channel your energy to what is good for yourself and the people who love you.”

Maybe those are the words Gulf needed to hear.

“Thank you Uncle. Thank you for knowing even if I have not told you anything. By the way, how did you know?” Gulf asked.

“I’ve known you since you were little. I’ve seen how brave you were. Remember when you confronted your Father when he was having problems? If you had not done that maybe, your family will not be together anymore. You made your Dad open up to you, your sister and your Mom. You were brave for him, showed you love him and supported him all the way until things got back to normal. So don’t tell me that bravery is gone. Also, your Mom called me and told me to talk to you. She sensed that something was wrong.”

“Did she say anything about me and Khun Phi?”

“She might have. Listen, she’s your Mom. Always remember this, Moms always know.”

“Uncle, thank you for everything. It’s clear to me now what I should do. Sorry for disturbing you and thank you for letting me disturb you. I am going back to Bangkok.”

_Yes, I am brave. I should be brave. I should tell Mew._

___

230pm, Bali

via LINE call

Gulf: Hello, Mild!

Mild: So???

Gulf: I am going back to Bangkok. Can you pick me up in the airport?

Mild: Alaiwaaaaaa…okay. For you my friend, I will drop all my plans and pick you up.

Gulf: Thank you Mild. I will Line you later what time I will land okay? Thank you.

He packed his stuff, took a shower and is now ready to leave. He grabbed his luggage and was about to step out when he saw somebody standing in the doorway.

They looked at each other and blurted at the same time,

“Phi/Nong”

“What are you doing here?/Where are you going?”

They just stood there, a few meters apart, just looking at each other, too nervous to say anything. Mew was trembling. Gulf’s eyes were starting to get teary.

After what seems like forever, Mew was the one who broke the silence.

“I took the earliest flight from Bangkok to find you. I have something important to tell you. Is this a bad time? Where are you going Nong?”

“To find you. I have something to tell you too.”

“Nong…”

“Phi…”

“I love you/I love you.”

“Ha?/Ha?”

Gulf asked, “What do you mean you love me?”

“I love you, I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend.”

It took a moment for Gulf to let what Mew said sink in his mind and his heart.

_Did he just say he loves me?_

Gulf rushed to Mew’s arms, embracing him almost crushing him with tears flowing. 

They held each other tight, savoring each other’s presence, feeling love’s warmth.

Crying ugly, both couldn’t believe that they are finally together.

Mew pulled away a little and attached his forehead to Gulf’s. He wiped Gulf’s tears then cupped his face.

“I love you Gulf. I’ve been in love with you for a while now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. I was a coward. I’m sorry.”

Gulf looked at him and started giving pecks at Mew’s eyes, his cheeks, his temples, his forehead.

“I’m sorry too. I was also too afraid to tell you.”

Gulf could not hold it anymore, he kissed Mew’s lips, light kisses at first then he started nibbling Mew's upper lip and brushing his tongue against it. Mew moaned inviting Gulf’s tongue into his mouth, his hands settling in Gulf’s slim waste pulling him closer, not allowing any air between them.

Gulf’s hands encircled Mew’s nape, tugging to deepen their kiss, their tongues tangling.

Moaning, too lost in the kiss, bodies heating up, hips rubbing against each other.

“Phi, please take me to bed.”


End file.
